My views my expression

While growing up, if I had cold or slight fever my father would often suggest me to wait it out for two days trying natural remedies instead of quick-fix of modern medicine. I always preferred the latter. Few chemicals that can restore your well being. Impatient can very well be my middle name. It is because of modern medicine, life expectancy has increased and people with life-threatening diseases have found a cure. Why wouldn’t someone like modern medicine? I could never understand why people would try alternative medicines when Science had progressed so much and provided better solutions. But it was different for anti-depressants. I grew up seeing my mother who has a history of clinical depression, being so dependent on her medicines that one less dose and it would affect her whole being. She would not be at peace. Being on medication for over 30 years now, there was a dullness that had engulfed her. Not the dullness of a character but dullness that comes from feeling nothing for a prolonged period of time. That’s what antidepressants did to my mother and that’s why I feared those medicines. The fear was so real that the first time I had a breakdown and was diagnosed with Bipolar and prescribed medicines, I did not dare to eat one. I sat on that prescription for weeks till I realised I was causing more harm to myself by not even trying. I was not even giving myself a chance. 

So I took a chance. My first prescription was three medicines, including two heavy anti depressants. I will not name them because its possible they work for someone but they did not work for me. 

What your doctor will not tell you about antidepressants is

• That it takes upto 14 days sometimes for antidepressants to start working for you, if they do. 
• That in the first 2 days you will feel an acute agony throughout your body. The discomfort is unbearable.
• That most antidepressants side-effect is suicide ideation because most depressed people can not bear the pain of adjusting your body to this new medicine.
• That the first time you eat your antidepressant, you will break into sweats and feel chaos inside your brain that you can’t understand.
• That if you find a medicine that works for you, you will be taking them for a long time & when you stop, you’ll suffer withdrawal symptoms.
• That it will numb you down so much that you will feel a never ending sadness & your thoughts will just pause in some sort of vacuum. 
• That most antidepressants don’t work for everyone. That it is still a field where research is ongoing. That it is a hit and trial method. 
• That you don’t have a perfect antidepressant that is catered to your mental health needs in the market.

I might not have found a medicine that works for me without making me feel suicidal or crippled yet. I am still hopeful that maybe some day I will. I’ve read a lot of experiences where people are living fulfilled lives possible solely due to their medication course. I will never give up hope. I’ve in past, yes. Whether it was my own despair combined with antidepressants side effect or something else, I’ve become more cautious about my treatment. 

If you’ve a loved one who is taking antidepressants for the first time, be around that person for the first few days and monitor their response to medicine. You may not realise what thoughts come to a depressed mind, but combined with a wrong medicine, they are enough to push one off a cliff. So be cautious about antidepressants always, no matter what doctors tell you. Be your own saviour.

Collected from blogger Priyanka. Thought of sharing this.